The revelation(s)

I love this view. Pretty, pretty huh?

 

 

2016 was a crazy year. I worked and lived in three different states. I had a bit of breakdown near the end. All of the changes suddenly caught up to me, and I was starting to hate where I was. I couldn’t even look out my window. And the crazy thing is, we have an amazing view. A view so grand, our apartment charges us extra for it.

But it’s true. I couldn’t look. Not only that, I could hardly eat. Everything sounded and tasted gross. All I wanted at the end of the day was to go to bed so I could close my eyes.

One afternoon, I started to completely unravel. I grabbed my Bible and clutched it to my chest and read out loud, through tears, Psalm 23. I read it and read it, but didn’t feel any different. I was confused and devastated. Why wasn’t it working? Why wasn’t I better?

Because I’m an adult

When I was a young teen, I couldn’t wait to be an adult. All I wanted to do was live on my own, buy my own stuff, have my own space… I wanted freedom.

Now that I have that, I am both thankful for it and reminiscent of those years I rushed to grow up.

This morning’s message in church inspired me to write a blog post, mostly because it made me think hard about my life now. Obviously, if we read the Bible, we know what God says is good and bad. Allowed and not allowed. But some things can cause us harm even if they might be considered a normal thing or a good thing. We need to ask ourselves, is this thing I’m doing controlling my life? Is it affecting my spirit in a negative way?

From Pinterest (jsttrstgodgrl.tumbler.com)

 

The other day I was talking with a friend about how kids don’t seem to go outside as much as they used to, especially since tablets and computers exist in the new generations, and they’re improving every day. After church today, it occurred to me there are lots of things adults used to do that have been put on the back burner… For some, talking face to face is uncomfortable or avoided, we watch more TV than spending time with each other, etc. It got me thinking about the TV shows and movies I watch. They’re not bad in the sense that they have nudity or nasty language, but they do make jokes of casual sex, drinking, etc.

Every time I’m faced with a message like the one I heard in church today, I think to myself…. Well I’m an adult. I can handle it. And I don’t act like them or believe those things, so it doesn’t matter.

Definitions

Some of you might be like me and grew up hearing about God. Others of you maybe came to know Him later in life. Either way, have you ever at some point felt sort of distance from it all? Maybe you can’t even define what it is, but you just know you don’t feel close to it.

I know I have. In fact, I’ve felt that way many times. Does that freak me out? It did for a little bit, but I’ve come to realize something. You know when you go to a concert, some people are rocking out with their hands in the air, or they’ve got some dance move they’re busting out… And some people just aren’t? I’ve learned some people may just be putting on a “show” or a “good face.” Truth be told, they might be at a low point in their life. They might not even really believe what they’re selling. But we don’t always know that or see that. None of it may be real.

The journey of life with God isn’t always a golden street with rainbows and butterflies. It doesn’t always feel perfect. And if you’re pushing outside of yourself, it shouldn’t even necessarily feel comfortable.

From Pinterest (godrite.com)

I can think of one time, over any other time, that I felt God and I felt closer to God than any other moment(s) in my life. I often look back on it and wish I could feel that way all the time. There are days I feel sort of blah. Sort of out of it and disconnected. That’s ok. What matters is that we’re for real. We know what we believe and we strive to be our best. We don’t have to throw our hands up and try to grasp at something because we think that will somehow make God feel real to us or make others think we’re for real. Connecting with God isn’t supposed to be a show for our glory and gain. It’s supposed to be real and honest. It looks dirty sometimes.

Wookiees and writing prompts

First, let me just say… If you’re going to put your passwords somewhere, don’t put them in a book titled “Passwords” where it opens up with spots for usernames, passwords, emails, etc.

I think we can all agree – doesn’t seem too safe. Fun fact. If you see this book, it’s probably by something about learning to speak Wookiee.

(This is me sometimes…) Picture from: http://www.financetwitter.com/2015/01/here-are-2014-top-25-worst-passwords-is-yours-on-the-list.html

Secondly, I recently made a fantastic purchase. I bought a box of cool Zumba DVDs and a journal with different writing prompts. One of my friends asked me if I had a prompt book. Realizing I didn’t, I was eager to find one. I wanted it to be fun and keep my mind going. So far, I’ve done 4 of the prompts.

One of them asked me to write about what can happen in a second. Everything, right? Yes, this is true. This is what I wrote: I’ve learned from experience a lot can happen in a second. Exhibit A: You set tracks to play at a radio station and go to the bathroom – next thing you know, you’ve got callers for the first time in weeks. Exhibit B: You’re making a roasted chicken sandwich with red sauce for a customer, go to put it in the oven, and in the process of turning around (quickly, I might add) it splatters all over the ground. Dead silence.

Thoughts for 2016

I don’t know about all of you, but I can’t believe it’s already 2016! When a new year begins, I usually find myself thinking about what I liked about the previous year, what I didn’t like, what I want to change, etc.

Packers VS Chargers 2015

2015 was a busy year. I finished college, started a new job, went to a Packer game, hit a deer… It was a lot like previous years. There was good and bad. Ups and downs.

One of my favorite social media platforms is Twitter. I find it to be a great mix of news and thoughts. With the new year starting, I found lots of wonderful, inspiring thoughts I wanted to share with you. Consider some of these for the new year:

 

“Joy is the serious business of heaven.” -CS Lewis (via Twitter)

“Your grace lets me catch my breath. 2016 may this be the year we finally slow down; where we finally find rest.” -Mike Donehey (via Twitter)

“Succeed in small things. Big triumphs will follow.” -Peter Moore (via Twitter)

“Get your hopes up. Raise your expectations. Make room for God to do something new in 2016!” -Joel Osteen (via Twitter)

 

So what are you looking for God to do in 2016? Are you hopeful? Do you have a heart that is willing to seek good and truth this year?

If you’re coming off a difficult year, try to remember that not only is this a new year, with God, every day can be a new day. He wipes the slate clean. We can start over.

Let’s keep our minds and hearts open. Let’s look for the good, hope for the best, be inspired, love and live our lives to the fullest… Let’s slow down and enjoy all that God has done and will do.

 

 

Part 2: The addictions we ignore

I met my aunt from the Philippines for the first time this last week. Her name is Rowena. A big part of me feels like I’ve known her my whole life. She is so sweet and friendly. I can’t wait to spend more time with her.

Before meeting Rowena, all I knew about her came from social media. I got to see little snapshots of her life and what sort of things she enjoyed. And it’s been a huge blessing.

Remember when I wrote about the addictions we ignore? This post kind of goes along with it in some ways. Social media is great way to keep in touch with those who live far away, like with my aunt. Eventually, she will go back home, and I’ll continue to see what she’s doing over there.

Found on Facebook from Showbiz Chisms

So what’s my point?

A while back, I noticed I enjoyed using social media for sharing all my personal accomplishments or things I was really proud of. And that’s ok. It’s completely fine. But I found I was caught up in a game. It’s really easy to get wrapped up in “one-upping” each other. I wasn’t doing it consciously, but I was still doing it. I would see what other people were posting and become consumed with achieving what they had. Either that, or I would create illusions like I was at that place in my life or completely and totally satisfied.

Have you ever caught yourself doing this? I still do it sometimes. It’s so easy to do.

The more I talk with people that are in my generation, the more it seems, at least to me, that instead of perhaps looking at the nice cars our neighbors have or the fancy clothes our coworkers wear, we more notice these things online. We see people creating, establishing, loving, working, buying, learning, etc. And I think we either become depressed or hungry to catch up. We want our “friends” to like our pictures and give us good comments. We seek approval. We seek approval because we’re human. We want to fit in, and we want to be liked.

The addictions we ignore

Addiction knows many names. I think when people think about that word, things like drugs and alcohol come to mind.

Did you ever think food, people, or habits could be addictions? What about books and movies?

I’ve never been a big TV watcher until recently. I heard people talking about new shows and classic older shows – Younger, The King of Queens, Empire… And all the new additions to Netflix or the countless shows and movies available to be watched.

Friends would talk about “binge watching” episodes of a show. I laughed at them because I thought it was ridiculous. I didn’t understand how someone could do that until now. I started watching hours and hours of a show at a time. Granted I just lost an important person in my life, I found myself sucked into a fantasy world. I felt like I was acting like some of the characters or thinking like some of the characters. Some of them were particularly nasty, rude, and careless.

Hear me out. I think the access we have to entertainment can be really wonderful and fun to share with friends and family. But it can also be a silent addiction. Lately, all I’ve wanted to do is watch the show. I watched it during my breaks at work, when I came home, in between activities or events. I wasn’t writing anymore. I wasn’t talking to any real people. And I sure wasn’t sleeping at night. One more, one more… It would go through my head over and over again.

Did you think He forgot about you?

I remember when I was a kid I really wanted to be a dentist. I wanted to wear a white coat and be a local hero.

Now I’m a college graduate in journalism and multimedia communication. I still actually really love the dentist and going to the dentist.

Why do I bring this up?

Because graduating from college left a weird taste in my mouth – not at first, but it did. I kind of forgot I was supposed to be trusting God. God helped me get through college… but this is just the beginning. I’ve been applying for jobs. I’ve had some interviews. In the midst of it all, I’ve found myself having mini panic attacks because applying for jobs is stressful, frustrating, and time consuming. When things weren’t working out, I started to get nervous, thinking I must have picked the wrong career path. I was convinced if I went back to be a dentist, everything would work out. I would get that job, I wouldn’t feel discouraged, I wouldn’t feel this, I wouldn’t feel that… And even though there would be absolutely nothing wrong with that, I knew I was being a little over the top.

Shoes of the ages and a trip down memory lane

The other day I went to the library with my siblings before I had to go to work. It was a trip down memory lane. Other than the bookstore, the library was my favorite place in the world. Of course, I read the classics… The Boxcar Children, Animal Ark, Heartland, Hank the Cowdog, and more. I haven’t been inside the library in Eau Claire very much, so it was nice to see it alive with lots of children ranging in ages… there were adults too!

There were colorful balls and decorations hanging from the ceiling over the computers, bright signs everywhere promoting a fun summer reading program. For the first time in a while, I wished I could be small again. Middle school was definitely not the greatest part of my life, but reading always made it better.

As I grew older, my love for reading was not erased, but I found a love for new things too. Shoes, for example, I very much enjoy. Traveling, food, clothes, all kinds of different things. I was wearing some nude colored flats with light orange skinny jeans and a black top. My hair was in a messy bun – I was feeling good, enjoying the library, doing what I do. My flats are great because they go with everything and they’re great for work. Definitely not the most “fabulous” shoe I have though. For example, I have some hot pink heels with black spots and a bow in the front. Now those are quite something. Craig is thankful I don’t wear them too often (he thinks they’re a little crazy), but man, I love those shoes.

Anyway, while Beth and Zach were checking their books out, this nice older woman came up to me and told me how much she loved my shoes. She said things like, “they’re so cool and practical,” or, “they’re fun and a great color.” It made me laugh to myself a little because I have never had anyone tell me my shoes were cool when I wear my pink heels. Maybe more people feel the way Craig does about my shoes, which I don’t mind. They are a little out there, but oh so vibrant and unusual.

When I dress to impress, nude flats are the way to go!

Forbidden fruit of the refrigerator

For the last few days, I’ve brought a peach with me as a part of my lunch for work. It all started when I was packing some chips and a sandwich, but was in desperate need of a fruit or veggie to take with too. At my house, we have a refrigerator in our kitchen and in the garage. I didn’t find anything in the kitchen, so I went out to the garage. We sometimes keep apples or oranges in a drawer out there to save space. Sure enough, I found some delightful peaches. Thinking it was a perfect option, I brought one along.