The Squid Launcher

Amelia's clever notes

Things will stay the same…?

on December 28, 2013

Hello readers! I’m so sorry I haven’t written in a while… I must say, things have been truly crazy lately. I hope you all had a blessed Christmas! I’ve been thinking of you during this season of joy.images (5)

Some of you may not know this, but I am no longer at WWIB. God has led me in a new direction. Following the Lord’s will isn’t always easy… I wasn’t expecting to leave the station so suddenly, but God had other plans… and sometimes that’s hard. I believe people like the comfort of little to no change. I know I personally enjoy all the consistency in my life. This semester has turned me around and flipped me upside down. Many things have changed, and I thought my life was falling to pieces at times. I would cry for a long time some days because everything felt so hard. When I think about all of that now, I realize it wasn’t all bad. I had my family, friends, my home…blessing after blessing. None of that went away during my struggles, and of course, God NEVER changes. He forever remains the same through every trial in life. In some of the darkest moments meant for destruction, God shed a great light and made it one of the most beautiful, memorable moments of my life.

The day after Christmas, my heart was very heavy. I felt so burdened and alone… I found myself thinking, I’m sick of pretending I’m ok… Why hasn’t justice come? Why haven’t my situations ended in closure? Why hasn’t anyone apologized? Why do I feel like I have to pretend Puerto Rico never happened? Does anyone know it still hurts? Does anyone know how I feel? Can anyone feel this hurt? I didn’t want this… I didn’t want this… Why do I have to continue to wait? I feel like I’ve been patient… My thoughts would go on, and on, and on… Later on, I felt ashamed, especially since I’m so blessed. I believe myself to be truly rich in Christ. I’ve learned from my mom it’s ok to go to God to spill out all your feelings. I’ve been doing it for a while now, and it feels so good. I tell Him exactly how I feel…every hurt or joy I experience.

I try to focus on waiting on the Lord. I want to wait for Him to open the door for me so His plan may come to be. There is nothing I want more than to be in the will of the Lord. It may sound all well and good, but as I said before, waiting on the Lord is often very hard. God placed a quote from Peter Kreeft right in front of me one day, and it gave me so much hope and inspiration. It goes like this, “No one who ever said to God ‘Thy will be done,’ and meant it in his heart ever failed to find joy.” Wow, right? When I think about what that means, I realize how true it is…and I’m filled with hope and love in waiting on God.

So no, things haven’t stayed the same at all, but I’m ok with that. Many wonderful blessings have come from the changes in my life. For that, I am eternally thankful to God.

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